34 Ways to Know You’ve Been Travelling in Belize for Too Long

You know you’ve been travelling in Belize for too long when…

1. You count your experiences in bug bites, not in days.

2. You know that there’s “no working during drinking hours” and that Belikin is “the only beer worth drinking”.

Beliking Beer sign in Belize City.

3. You start to wonder if you’ll ever get tired of rice and beans. Naaaah!

4. Marie Sharp is rapidly becoming the most important female figure in your life.

Tom with carton board Marie Sharpe in her factory in Dangriga.

To the point you get freakily fanboyish about her.

5. You see a Mennonite lady and you think she should cheer up (but you realise she won’t read this).

6. You know the running order of Bob Marley’s Greatest Hits album by heart.

7. You’re not falling from your chair when you hear a dinosaur’s roar.

howler monkey in Xunantunich

You know it’s probably just a howler monkey.

8. You don’t need earplugs anymore when the jungle wants to buzz you to sleep.

9. Insect repellent and anti-itch creams are the most important items in your toiletry bag.

10. You haven’t lived a day when you haven’t had any fry jacks.

breakfast of scrambled eggs, refried beans and fry jacks

My kingdom for a fry jack.

11. You’re no longer afraid of the hurricane season.

12. You’re deathly afraid of the kissing bug.

13. Spotting a snake isn’t an event anymore.

tropical rat snake in Cockscomb

You even know this is a (non-venomous) tropical rat snake.

14. There’s no such thing as too much tamarind juice.

15. Fanta Pineapple – where have you been all my life?

16. You feel like you’re in The Simpsons every time you take a bus.

old American school bus in Belmopan

Or any American highschool movie

17. There’s no birth and death, there’s only sunrise and sunset.

18. It doesn’t bother you when there’s a tarantula hanging over your head during dinner.

19. Maya temples are the new churches.

El Castillo temple in Xunantunich, Belize

They’re fuckin’ everywhere.

20. You read the word ‘murder’ in the newspaper without batting an eye.

21. You know that it’s a bad idea to touch a poisonwood tree.

22. Iguanas are as normal a sight as cows or goats.

green iguana in Table Rock, Cayo

They’re actually nicknamed ‘bamboo chickens’.

23. You’re more used to sitting in the back of pick-up trucks than in car seats.

24. You’ve accumulated a truckload of black plastic bags.

25. It doesn’t surprise you to see a car without wheels, or one that’s completely overgrown by jungle.

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26. You’d rather drop dead than to flush toilet paper.

27. You’ve given up on YouTube.

28. No matter how bad things get, there’s always lemon pie and ice cream from Western Dairies.

Anete eats ice cream of Western Dairies in Spanish Lookout

29. The thought of going into Belize City makes you shudder.

30. You know what ‘dis da fi wi’ means.

headquarters of Dis Da Fi Wi Chikin in Spanish Lookout

I’ll save you the Google session.

31. You exclusively drink water from plastic bags.

32. You no longer wonder what those moving pieces of leaf are.

leafcutter ants

Leafcutter ants, obviously.

33. It doesn’t surprise you to see adults cycling on pink children bicycles.

34. You wonder if there’s such a thing as too many waterfalls.

waterfall in Cockscomb

The answer is: no way, José.

Attention, attention: we’ve crossed the border and we are now in Guatemala. But more on Belize is sure to come, just keep an eye on this page.

7 Replies to “34 Ways to Know You’ve Been Travelling in Belize for Too Long”

  1. Pingback: Following Belgium’s World Cup on the road: nerve-racking, nail-biting, never again! – Volcano Love

  2. Bob Brumbaugh

    Please do not encourage folks to visit Belize. Send them to Costa Rica or Guatemala, Columbia or Ecuador. If you don’t tell them about it it is then all mine, mine, mine!


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