34 Ways to Know You’ve Been Travelling in Belize for Too Long

You know you’ve been travelling in Belize for too long when…

1. You count your experiences in bug bites, not in days.

2. You know that there’s “no working during drinking hours” and that Belikin is “the only beer worth drinking”.

3. You start to wonder if you’ll ever get tired of rice and beans. Naaaah!

4. Marie Sharp is rapidly becoming the most important female figure in your life. (After all those years, still one of my favourite hot sauces. Try, if you haven’t tasted.)

5. You see a Mennonite lady and you think she should cheer up (but you realise she won’t read this).

6. You know the running order of Bob Marley’s Greatest Hits album by heart.

7. You’re not falling from your chair when you hear a dinosaur’s roar.

8. You don’t need earplugs anymore when the jungle wants to buzz you to sleep.

9. Insect repellent and anti-itch creams are the most important items in your toiletry bag.

10. You haven’t lived a day when you haven’t had any fry jacks.

11. You’re no longer afraid of the hurricane season.

12. You’re deathly afraid of the kissing bug.

13. Spotting a snake isn’t an event anymore.

14. There’s no such thing as too much tamarind juice.

15. Fanta Pineapple – where have you been all my life?

16. You feel like you’re in The Simpsons every time you take a bus.

17. There’s no birth and death, there’s only sunrise and sunset.

18. It doesn’t bother you when there’s a tarantula hanging over your head during dinner.

19. Maya temples are the new churches.

20. You read the word ‘murder’ in the newspaper without batting an eye.

21. You know that it’s a bad idea to touch a poisonwood tree.

22. Iguanas are as normal a sight as cows or goats.

23. You’re more used to sitting in the back of pick-up trucks than in car seats.

24. You’ve accumulated a truckload of black plastic bags.

25. It doesn’t surprise you to see a car without wheels, or one that’s completely overgrown by jungle.

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26. You’d rather drop dead than to flush toilet paper.

27. You’ve given up on YouTube.

28. No matter how bad things get, there’s always lemon pie and ice cream from Western Dairies.

29. The thought of going into Belize City makes you shudder.

30. You know what ‘dis da fi wi’ means.

31. You exclusively drink water from plastic bags.

32. You no longer wonder what those moving pieces of leaf are.

33. It doesn’t surprise you to see adults cycling on pink children bicycles.

34. You wonder if there’s such a thing as too many waterfalls.

Attention, attention: we’ve crossed the border and we are now in Guatemala. But more on Belize is sure to come, just keep an eye on this page.